If Only I were
by b-okey
Summary: In the end, Tsukishima couldn't hold back his tears. / Apologize for any gramatical mistakes or typos, and the shitty plot.


Many people was gathered in a big hall of a hotel that was decorated in white and gold. There was a big wedding cake standing elegantly in the middle of the room with a figure of a man and woman kissing in their wedding suits. Seems like the groom and the bride ordered it personally that the figure on the top of the cake was made exactly like the king of queen of the night. The man with awful bed head hair and the woman with her long black hair.

Tsukishima hold his laughter back, covering his mouth so Kuroo would not finding him laughing at the hilarious figure. It was so good, almost exactly like the real person. As well as the pretty woman kissing the man's figure. No matter how he look at it, they're definitely look like match made in heaven.

He directed his gaze to the real couple that were standing, smiling at the guests who congratulated them. Tsukishima could see how the bride constantly stealing glance at Kuroo who talked to the guest, how she looked and smiled gently at the man who's going to spend the rest of his life with her, how those eyes were obviously telling her feeling without words.

 _Of course I won't win against that pretty woman,_ Tsukishima sighed, disappointed at his own thoughts. His eyes have already teary, so he changed his gaze to see the ceiling of the hall where the fancy glass chandeliers hanging.

"So you're going in the end," someone said, the voice was coming from Tsukishima's back. Tsukishima turned to see Kageyama was standing still in black suits.

"You too," Tsukishima simply replied. He took out his phone from his pocket, feeling that it would be awkward efterwards since he and Kageyama wasn't really in good term.

"I need to watch over Hinata," Kageyama stated, "or he wouldn't be able to come back to Miyagi."

"So your job is Hinata's keeper now. I see," Tsukishima said in monotonous tone. His gaze unconsciously fell to the happy groom and bride who were smiling at each other, with their heads getting closer.

"More or less?" Kageyama replied, didn't sound really interested to argue.

"Great then. As expected of the King," Tsukishima chuckled. "Say, King."

"What?"

"In your opinion, when is someone can be considered mature?"

Kageyama paused, looking at Tsukishima in disbelief. "Mature?" he asked, still in denial that Tsukishima suddenly asking something out of the blue.

"Yeah. Mature," Tsukishima repeated. He didn't expect any answer, though. The thought just come and the question just blurted out without any permission.

"Maybe when you can accept everything with opened mind?" Kageyama said.

"Accept everything with opened mind, huh?" Tsukishima smirked at the reply he got. The reply that stabbed him right at the heart. "Guess I still haven't matured yet."

 _Is that another thing he wouldn't choose me beside my gender?,_ Tsukishima questioned himself. Because the woman there looked really mature if she was in the same age as Kuroo. She seemed to be the reliable wife, a loving one as well. A wife who will cook you breakfast, lunch, and dinner everyday, who will welcome you home everyday with sweet peck on the cheek.

Tsukishima could feel his eyes got teary again. He looked up for a while, trying to get the almost fell tears back to his eyes. He wasn't supposed to cry at this. He needed to get himself together, to accept all of things before his eyes --the happy bride who's clinging and smiling at Kuroo, the overjoy Kuroo, the wedding cake, the guests, everything. At least, in the last time of their meeting, Kuroo could be proud of him as an ex-mentor.

"Kageyama, have you congratulated them?" Tsukishima asked, putting back his phone he has been hold for nothing.

"Nope. Want to go there together?" Kageyama offered, which was accepted gladly by Tsukishima through a nod.

They slowly walked through the crowd to where the groom and the bride has been standing all the time, with Tsukishima kept repeating to himself that now wasn't the time to be sad or hurt. Kageyama just followed where Tsukishima went through.

And here they were, a few steps away from them.

"Tsukki! You're coming!" Kuroo smiled from ear to ear, sounded like he was just meeting some old friend. "You're going here with Kageyama-kun, huh?"

"Nope you're wrong. We just met here," Tsukishima denied Kuroo's statement. "By the way, congratulation on your marriage, Kuroo-san, and..."

"Furukawa Miki, just call me Miki," she replied with a polite smile.

"Ah, okay, Miki-san. You're also Kuroo now, after all," Tsukishima replied as politely as he could. But somehow, when he said that she was also Kuroo, his throat felt dry.

"Congratulation, Kuroo-san, Miki-san," Kageyama gave his congratulation as well.

"Ah it's the time already. I should be going soon. Once again, congratulation," Tsukishima said as he bowed and excused himself from Kuroo's sight, followed by Kageyama who didn't have any clue.

"Oi, Tsukishima, where are you going?" Kageyama walked a little bit faster after he got out from the hall. His eyes instantly found Tsukishima who was standing meters away, looking at the ground.

Kageyama was only a few steps away when Tsukishima suddenly said, "Hey, Kageyama. Miki-san is really pretty, right?" Tsukishima's voice somehow sounded different from before.

"...Yeah."

"She's also look mature."

"Yeah," Kageyama gave a short reply. He suddenly felt like he could grasp the situation now.

"If only I were mature like her," Tsukishima continued his talk. "If only I were reliable. If only I were someone he could trust."

Tsukishima looked up at the ceiling, but now he didn't stop his tears from falling. Kuroo wasn't in his sight.

"If only I were a woman, that would be great."

A/N : Thank you for reading this fanfiction though it was messed up. I always have thoughts of making an angst fanfiction and I guess the first attempt wasn't really successful lol. Still, hope you enjoy it~

I at first thought will make it into KageTsuki but maybe in the future I will try to make one XD


End file.
